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So Far

from Light and Shade by Mattie Konig

/

lyrics

Licking the jodphurs one by one
Scran in a big cast iron trough
Fucking the antimacessars
Congratulations it’s a boy
Stimming in Simeon Stylite’s chair
Mapping the inside of a skull
Shittalking Ryan’s Toy Review
Looking for meaning in my self

Will rightness find its way into my life
Healthy food
Stability
And friends I know in person

Or have the planted seeds doomed me to failure
Childhood fears
The internet
A destiny as a recluse

Why should this all matter anyway when I won’t know where my legacy will lie
In the meantime will the people listen or am I just singing to an empty room

Geofftech’s railways and Jerma’s gameplays
My PC’ll never be that fast
Griffin’s goofers and Coogan’s bloopers
My jokes won’t make that many laugh
Avey’s screaming and Unreal’s streaming
They’re all distractions from this ride
Lemonposting and Leftbook roasting
My ass has blisters from the slide

Bunty Stent
Bаrry Spаggot
Open mic night
An Exeter dive
The crowd is now my therapist

Ryfоld Rоad
Wimbledon
Cannizaro to Elmers End
My heart lies each side of the Thames

Am I making the right choice
Will NEETitude be my outlook
Or can my quirky creations
Propel me to some sunny brook

time
endless
out
me
before

Am I what you folks see in me
Or am I what I see in you
Am I just taking nonsense

Or is there a chance my efforts will pay off
Exposure
A record deal
An audience of loving fans

Iconoclasts turned institutions
Touring vans turned private jets
Is this what I really want
Or do I desire a way to live without starving or leeching off my mum and dad
‘Cos I have never thought ahead I’ve taken early death as given
Now I find myself an adult but I don’t feel ready for the slings and arrows I would rather stay with gibes and gambols
But I can’t hide
I can’t run
I can’t put this farce on permanent halt

I’m so tired
Of singing songs that don’t connect
Of repeating the time worn conventions
Of never knowing anything like peace
The Quietus would savage my singing

The good that men do is oft interred with their bones
I’m no man
I’m not good
I have nothing

You’ve come so far
You’ve lost so much
But don’t look back Mattie
You’ve got a life
Get out and live

I’ve come so far
I’ve come so far
I’ve come so far
I’ve come so far

credits

from Light and Shade, released April 11, 2018

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Mattie Konig UK

Eclectic progressive music from the weirdest trans woman in all the West Country. How's it going?

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