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Cast of characters in order of appearance:

ALL CAPS = Barahnavoir (a mamuthone)
small caps = Junuisse (an issohadore)
‘quote marks’ = Francis (a news reporter)
>meme arrows = Rafielle (a local elder)

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I’M BARAHNAVOIR THE MAFIPULATING MAMUTHONE
WITNESS ME SHUFFLE DOWN THE COBBLES
JINGLIN’ MY LOOSE CORAL BACK

A FORMATION IN PELTS
COUNTENANCE ASKEW
THE LONG FACED MOAI OF GENERATIONS UNTOLD

NO SMILES FOR TOURISTS
JUST WAVERIN’ TRADITION
BUT I DIDN’T SPROUT ON MY OWN?
DID I?
DID I?
DID I?

i am junuisse the inglorious issohadore
witness me jig down the alleys
furling my luxe pleated rope

a herding of the females
countenance a-blanche
the blank faced shepherds of scraggly demons

no smiles for tourists
just wavering tradition
but i didn’t sprout on my own?
did i?
did i?
did i?

HUPPITY HUP HUP YOU GOTTA COME DOWN
boy don’t you got no sense of style?
FUCKITY FUCK I AIN’T GONNA COME DOWN
that woolly brown skin is soooo last century…

SHIGGITY SHAN SHAN YOU GOTTA COME DOWN
raw me from behind and i’ll call you granddad!
DICKORY DOCK I AIN’T GONNA COME DOWN
you have a lamb chop and your brain stops ticking…

EIGHT TWELVE eight twelve eight twelve
eight twelve EIGHT TWELVE EIGHT TWELVE
eIgHt TwElVe EiGhT tWeLvE eIgHt TwElVe
EiGhT tWeLvE eIgHt TwElVe EiGhT tWeLvE

‘…megafauna researchers from the mainland found disturbing implications on the moors: long-faced “human” skulls and fossilised half shells, strange droppings, and the tracks beside them were fresh…’

>there is no ancience here that would benefit you to know about.
>there is no upside to be found from straying off the paths dictated by the farmers-cum-guides.
>there is no profitable bullion waiting for you in the uncharted caves and crevasses.
>there is nothing but maxilla that came out wrong, pairs of gleaming little onyxes, and the chiming of stranger bells yet.

No trembling carriga to save you
No aftershow
Nothing but the scrape of broad flat nails on stone
A scream mixes with another scream
A jugular is torn
A braying cry in the Sardinian night

A baby cries in the Sardinian night

Somewhere on the ferry a journalist is seized
The SD card with his snaps is thrown overboard

Somewhere in the town square a hayhand shuffles by
Another year of keeping this island’s secret safe

Somewhere in the thicket a breeding pair is stalked
By redcoat men who see them make love and hell on grass

No smiles for tourists
Just natural selection
But they did evolve on their own
They did
They did
They did

Daemonthropus setosus

MAMOIADA? I HARDLY KNEW HER!!!
oh do behave you slut!!!
WHAT? CAN’T A BITCH HAVE A BIT OF FUN ONCE IN A WHILE?
a bit more than fun, dontcha think?
WHATCHU GABBERIN’ ON ABOUT???
well, hun, you really don’t know your origins as well as ya should…
YEAH I’M UNSPEAKABLE FEAR IN ANTHRO FORM -- GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!